While I Waited, I Became

The Beginning

I didn’t expect the layoff to break me. But I also didn’t expect… was how deeply it would reshape me.
It happened almost a year ago now. The role was winding down. I’d seen the signs. And part of me was ready — hopeful, even — for something new. I thought I’d take a beat. Breathe through the holidays. Find something fresh early in the new year. Bounce back.

What happened instead was… everything else.
Hours of searching. Dozens of applications. The endless up and down of “maybe this is it!” followed by ghosting or rejection or no budget after all. My calendar filled with application time, interviews, following up with contacts. My soul filled with doubt. My bank account whispered “urgency.” My heart whispered “please don’t settle.”

And underneath all of that?
A flicker.
A whisper.
A spark.

While I was waiting…

I started to remember who I was when I wasn’t performing. I started living from the spark, not the checklist.
And that tiny spark? This year gave me the space to tend to it — quietly, gently, patiently. No pressure to ignite some grand vision overnight. Just time to gather kindling. To breathe life back into the embers I’d been too tired to notice. To create without expectation.To return to joy. And piece by piece, moment by moment, the fire began to build.It’s allowed me to–

✨Build something I’m proud of — this, Sparkle in Bloom™ — not just a brand, but a space. A soft landing. A way to share my voice again, and invite others to reconnect with theirs.

✨Start my novel. The novel. The one I’ve been whispering about since I was a kid. It’s still blooming. But it exists. Finally.

✨Get out of my head and into my feet — morning movement, slow walks, real presence. I found magic along the water, amongst the trees and in breathing before breakfast.

✨Learn to make sourdough. And pickles. (Both more spiritual than expected.)

I cried. I panicked. I meditated. I pulled oracle cards. I journaled. I doubted my path one day and believed in it the next. I asked the universe for signs. It gave me bluebirds, deer, dragonflies, gut feelings, meditation visuals, and songs I hadn’t heard in years that knew exactly what I needed to feel. And somewhere along the way, I stopped chasing alignment… and started trusting I was already in it.

Now, as everything begins to come together, I can feel the stress start to lift.  I can breathe deeply without that whisper of doubt or stress. And that fire I’ve been tending so tenderly? It’s ready to rage.

Divine Timing Isn’t Always Gentle

I am not going to sugarcoat it. Waiting was hard. Really hard.  Some days, it was terrifying.  It felt unfair. It felt like proof that maybe I wasn’t good enough. That I was being left behind.
That everyone else had a seat at the table, and I was still out in the hallway, waiting to be let in.

But what I know now — what I lived my way into — is this:

Divine timing isn’t always obvious while you’re in it.
Sometimes it looks like detours. Like delays. Like nothing happening. Like every door that’s creaking open is quickly slamming shut before you can even walk through it.

But underneath it all, something is working. Something is preparing you. Something is asking you to become the version of you who will say yes — full-body yes — when the moment arrives.

And for me… it finally did.

And Then — It Was Time

The role I thought I’d get months ago? The one that felt aligned in all the ways — the flexibility, the creativity, the values, the way it would let me keep watering my own spark while contributing what I love? That role came back around. I’d never lost hope. My gut kept telling me I’d be there…but it never told me when.  Turns out that when?  It was “right on time.”

I didn’t manifest it in a perfect planner. I didn’t “optimize my job search funnel.”  I lived. I trusted. I created. I took the next right step (towards my joy, my passion, my light) over and over again.

And then one day… the call came. The email followed. The offer arrived.
And the spark that I had spent a year protecting — despite doubt, fear, and late-night budgeting stress — got to meet the fire it had always been waiting for.

If You’re Still Waiting

If you’re still in the hallway… I see you.
If you’re trying to trust your gut while your bills stack up… I feel you.
If you’re building something beautiful while refreshing your inbox… I am you.
And I am here to tell you that you don’t have to be perfectly peaceful about it. You don’t have to smile through the struggle.

But if you can… listen for the spark. Follow the tiniest pull toward your joy. Make the sourdough. Write the scene. Sit under the tree. Open the tarot deck. Cry if you need to. Dance if you can.

Because it’s not just waiting.
It’s preparing.
It’s becoming.

And one day, when the door finally opens…
You’ll realize you were already walking toward it the whole time.

✨